Posts Tagged ‘news’

Disappearing in the UK

Friday, July 9th, 2010

A gunman, and suspected murderer, is on the loose in North-East England. Since shooting dead his ex-girlfriend’s partner, and attempting to kill her, Raoul Moat has proven elusive to the authorities seeking his capture.

In some ways this is alarming, but then again, there are presumably plenty of murderers out there. As we know, there are plenty of people in possession of guns, which is troubling as well. I would hope that people are not living in fear that he, or a different nutter, may pop up from behind a bush and start firing wantonly at members of the public.

What does surprise me is that he has successfully managed to go missing in the UK, with a full search operation aimed at tracking his location. There are many missing persons scattered about the UK, some of whom will sadly not be alive and others who will simply remain off the radar, but few are tracked so intensely and suddenly after their last known whereabouts.

Much is made of the ’surveillance state’, but its omniscience cannot be that comprehensive if an armed and dangerous man cannot be found within its rather limited confines. I would imagine that it is difficult to evade capture if you are being sought so urgently and so publicly.

You have to wonder where he has got to, and if he will actually be able to leave his current whereabouts, without irredeemably exposing himself to the network of cameras which theoretically can monitor him. He’d need a fairly comprehensive disguise to escape the scrutiny of fellow UK residents also.

Surely it is against the odds that he has remained unreachable for this length of time. I would imagine that his capture is imminent, for if he remains on our “sceptred isle”, there’s not a whole lot of room to hide in.

The amusing MPs’ expense claims continue

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

I’ll keep this post brief, lest it turn into another rant about the selfishness of our ‘public servants’, which has been done plenty of times before, many times by me.

Over at the Guardian, readers have been leafing through the recent volumes of expenses which have been published. The hilarious and disturbing world of MPs’ expenses is exposed once more in all its horrific gore. Ludicrous claims for garden maintenance abound, and God forbid that your second home isn’t adequately carpeted.

Meanwhile, the hypocrisy of David Cameron, who purports to be someone who would work for the good of the citizens of the UK, becomes increasingly evident via his claiming a truly whopping amount to heat his house through an oil stove, or just to cover the mortgage in the first place.

See it all for yourself by visiting this link: http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/dec/16/mps-expenses-what-we-learned.

80p for the Evening Star?! Approximately eighty pence too expensive.

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Something always changes when I head back to Ipswich. A building may have been demolished, another may have been put up. Shops may have closed, others may have opened. This weekend witnessed a change which was arguably more surprising than any. The hapless local newspaper, the Evening Star, now charges eighty pence for it’s Friday edition. Much like when somebody appears on Dragon’s Den and suggests that their new invention – ‘The Cheese-grate-o-matic 8000′ or such like – values their company at £10 million, I sense that they are overestimating their worth.

Who knows, maybe there is more of a market for tales of paradoxically outstanding mediocracy than I thought. Or maybe not, seeing as the local newspaper industry is floundering. The Evening Star incidentally put an article on their website a few weeks ago about a chip-shop owner from Wales who discovered a pie with the image of Tommy Cooper emblazoned by chance upon the underneath of its crust. Quality journalism for you.

Sarko’s Napoleon Complex

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

Apparently, controversy is spreading through France in an intriguing case of history repeating itself, as one of its leaders appears to be getting a little paranoid about his height. A factory worker stated that he was placed on a stage near Sarko because his height made the President look taller during the latter’s visit to the plant. Following this, new people have come forward with similar stories, although his aides are fervently denying the truth of such tall tales (no apology for the bad pun).

According to the BBC article on this subject, he ought to have a Napoleon Complex – Sarkozy is supposedly an inch short of the height reached by Mr. Bonaparte.

Tony Blair is favourite to land non-existent job

Friday, July 17th, 2009

The British media love nothing more than to fabricate a story, and initiate a scandal based on dubious facts which they made up a short while earlier. They then call it “news”. One such story developing at the moment is about Tony Blair becoming the first ‘president of Europe’. Give it a search on Google News, and you already get quite a few results. Do the media really need to be reminded that the job of ‘President of Europe’ does not exist? It’s hard enough to apply for a job which does exist, let alone a non-existent job, so I’ll be impressed if ol’ Tone pulls it off.  This doesn’t really matter though, the aim of the newspaper companies is to sell papers. I would imagine they know it’s a no-news story. Now, they just have to sit back and watch paranoid Eurosceptics go mental about the prospect of an even bigger centralised European government. Judging by Google News results. this is already working a treat.

The job which will soon exist, I believe, is ‘President of the European Council’. An article on the Independent talks of a lack of job description and a £275,000 salary. If recent examples from British politics are anything to go on, I would profer that a generous expenses account is also an option. Put my name down.

We may been distracted by our greedy and corrupt MPs, but we have not forgotten about our greedy and selfish bankers

Monday, July 6th, 2009

Today I discovered The New Statesman. It is an amazing publication, and how it evaded me for this long I am unsure. Never mind though, I have found it now. Upon a flick through some of the recent topics of interest I found an article by a Dr. Vincent Cable. The Rt Hon Vince ‘The Cable’ MP has enjoyed an enhanced reputation of late due to his prior awareness of the current financial crisis, and his firm and daring opinions on what ought to be done about it. In this article, Dr. Cable reminds us that the MPs’ expenses crisis, shocking and intolerable though it is, must not allow us to forget the atrocities committed in the name of ‘the market’ by city bankers. This article was well worded, and posited an important argument.

More interesting still was a link buried within the comments – a clip from John Bird and John Fortune, made in 2007 (yes, before it became common knowledge that we’d been done over by the greed of private sector financial companies), wherein they satirise the process of subprimes and hedge fund investments. It is almost scary, how well they deconstruct the illusion of investments before the crisis hit full momentum. I advise everyone with an interest in the economic troubles to watch it – it really is quite something.

That don’t impress me much, Mr. Federer

Monday, July 6th, 2009

One of the things which really endeared the six-time Wimbledon champion to British fans, aside from his immaculate tennis-playing skills, was his humility. It is fair to say, following yesterday’s final and last year’s defeat, that Federer isn’t the unbeatable player of a few years ago, but this won’t be the factor which causes him to lose some popularity from the fans of the All England Club. Unfortunately, whereas he has lost a smidgen of the tennis-ing quality he previously possessed, he has shed a whole chunk of humility.

Admittedly, it is perhaps difficult to remain humble when you are dominating the sport which you play for a living, but egomania didn’t trouble the Swiss a little while ago. This year, we saw several displays of an enhanced ego which brought an unwelcome aspect to Federer’s successful title campaign. The bad omens were there from the beginning; not for the first year, Federer has been wearing pretentious customised clobber, but this year it was plastered with more blingy gold than ever before. By the conclusion of the final though, a couple of nails in the coffin of Federer’s groundedness had been firmly hammered in.

Shortly after the final shot of the game, a misshit from Mr. Roddick, Federer reached into his kitbag to pull out a jacket, which presumptuously had ‘15′ emblazoned on the back – this being the number of grand slams Federer had won after beating Roddick in that very game. The blighter had the jacket made already! Methinks thou liketh thyself a tad too much Fedsy-boy. To wrap it off, an unflattering interview in which he showed minimal sympathy for Nadal’s injury and Roddick’s efforts.

I’d be surprised if Federer gets the same level of support next year. I think I am one of many who were slightly repelled by yesterday’s antics.

The government goes hunting, and fires at the easy target.

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

For the past few months, Ed Balls has been up to no good. He released one of those famous ‘white papers’ the other week, recommending that teachers are issued with a licence which are re-issued every five years if the teacher is still capable of doing their job. This amounts to shooting the easy target.

The government is aware of the grim prevalencof antisocial behaviour in society. They realise they have failed to deal with it. Meanwhile, MPs have been demonstrating that they are not fit to do their job, by stealing from the taxpayer in the form of expenses which are ‘in the rules’. (Certain things aren’t in the rulebook because it should be obvious that you can’t do them, hence the lack of a rule in football which prohibits the wearing of kitchen knifes as studs to keep opponents away). There are plenty of examples in society of unfair and selfish conduct, and the government has not managed to reduce these instances. They needed someone to blame. They picked teachers.

Anything except admitting that a horrifyingly large proportion of parents are unfit to raise a child. Although I say it in a not-wholely-literally way, some people just shouldn’t be allowed to raise a child. Their licence should be revoked. Teachers can work wonders between 9am and 4pm, and have them all undone by the next morning with the influence of lousy parents. There are wonderful schools, with wonderful teachers, in which there still exist dreadful pupils. Has the school let them down? Probably not. Although the school and its teachers have a duty to persist with improving the prosperity of the pupils until it is assured, there is only so much that can be done outside of the home environment. Sometimes the power of the schooling can help a child to overcome an adverse upbringing. Sometimes, if a school is not collectively performing well for its pupils, good parenting can weather the storm.

By and large, parents let their children eat the wrong food, stay up too late watching unsuitable programmes, do relatively little exercise, and read far less than they should. All of these things hinder a teacher in doing what they desire most – helping children to prosper. This is what the government should focus on – how to be a parent, not how to be a teacher. I would say that a hugely overwhelming majority of teachers are good at their job. Few are so beyond redemption that they should be prohibited from teaching, whereas many parents should never have had children in the first place. A lot of them didn’t even mean to. The key to improving the lives of our future generations is by acknowledging that parents are more instrumental than teachers in how a child turns out.

So, Ed Balls, I ask you what on earth you are hoping to achieve. To put non-sadists off teaching? To blame other people for the government’s shortfalls? To prove you’ve actually been doing some work? What is the meaning of this, and how will it help schools? I’ll tell you – it won’t. It’s just bureaucratic froth in a disappointing governmental cappucino.

Not that I mean to suggest that Michael Gove will be a better man to run the country’s education system. Firstly, he loves daft policies as much as Ed Balls. Secondly, he sets a terrible example of professionalism to adults and children alike. It is not, despite what he may think, acceptable to claim £14o for ornate lamps at the taxpayer’s expense, nor indeed a £20 mug. I also don’t believe it is right to maintain a £5000-a-month role as a journalist whilst he is supposed to be serving the needs of his constituents, and working out the way forward for education in England. There’s just not enough time in the day to fulfill all of these roles adequately. If anything, Gove will be worse, and those working in education should brace themselves. What Mr. Cameron sees in Mr. Gove is most unclear. Gove should be cast aside in the first instance – he is not fit to meddle with something as important as education.

We need to re-examine the way in which education is overseen by the government. The current system is under-performing.

The Early Bird Catches The Worm

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

The early bird catches the worm, and the moral of this cliched motto is that a worm should not get up early, or it risks being gobbled by a bird which foresaw its doing so. Anyhow, I’m up early today for reasons unknown, and I feel like a pre-work blog. My geekiness has definitely reached new and worrying heights.

I bring you news this morning which demonstrates the ridiculousness of some individuals who like making complaints about TV adverts. On an article on the BBC about the 10 most contraversial adverts of the last year, it emerges that there have been some surprising entries. I cannot truly do justice to how daft some of the complaints have been, so I will leave you with the link to draw your own conclusions. However, do note the amusing objection to the Specsavers advert which featured Edith Piaf. That’s my personal favourite.

Max Mosley, You Dirty Ol’ Blighter!

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

I used to be interested in Formula One. Looking back, it was mainly for the crashes. The driver was nearly always going to be alright afterwards, so I figured it to be good, clean entertainment. I didn’t want to see bones break so much as £1 million of engineering fall to pieces. Even with Lewis Hamilton’s success last year, the trend of my waning interest in the supposed top echelon of motorsport was continuing. Essentially, whoever qualified in first would win. And likewise for most of the rest of the places. The 60 laps or so on a Sunday were merely procedural. I stopped watching.

In the last few days however, Formula 1 has, shall I say, ‘aroused’ my attention. Max Mosley, the head of the FIA, has found himself in a spot of bother. The FIA oversees all important motorsport and a great deal of important stuff to do with conventional motoring. He’s an important man. He has achieved everything in spite of potential reputation-damage caused by his father’s political career, which Max obviously has distanced himself from. His pa Oswald was leader of Britain’s fascist party, after all, and was an ally of Hitler.

Never mind this. For those of you who have not been reading any news lately, then I will summarise the peculiar spot of bother in which he is currently situated. The News of the World, on Sunday, released a front page headline and pictorial evidence of him engaged in a ‘Nazi-style’ sex session with a couple of prostitutes. He gladly handed over £2500 for the privilege of being treated like a concentration camp prisoner, and whipping the sex workers whilst counting in German. Now, the article is in News of the World (not exactly a bastion of well-researched reporting based on the core principles of integrity, honesty, and equality), and the pictures are grainy. But it does appear to be him. And he isn’t denying it. I think, then, it is safe to assume that Mr. Mosely has been misbehaving himself. Tut tut. Now, if I have to demonstrate to you the controversial nature of this, you are a strange person indeed.

Anyway, people are calling for him to resign, and for the second time in a year I find that the most interesting developments in Formula 1 are those which take place off the track, or indeed, nowhere near it.

Honestly, I’m not making this up. See the article in the News of The World. And the way it is being reported in the Times (article 1 and article 2), the Guardian, and the BBC.